Finding Grace !!

"It's been a while i wrote to you ....." I read an email from one of my close friends. And what followed unraveled a superb collaboration of thoughts from two individuals, who have, perhaps walked the same walk of life, at some point in life.

"It's been a while I wrote to you, thought will draft an email just like that :-), for no good reason, I suppose. I was watching famous tv series, and I heard a dialogue from an old man to a young lad -"Find your girl, and then find grace"

I think it speaks volumes about old people and their wise thoughts. I was left thinking about this line for a bit and I am still thinking about it as I write this. It can be perceived and digested in many different ways. How I'd like to understand it is that I think everyone in this world needs a companion.Aditi, remember our countless discussions about what to look in a partner, whether you need to get married because society wants it etc etc etc blah blah. I think this line says it all. Find your companion and then find grace. Me thinks that there is a lot of wisdom in finding a companion in life. It's not a society thing specially for we Indians, but more of a wise line given to us by our elders. They know we can't stay alone. How much ever I felt in my teens that i would never marry, how much ever tease that people got out of me from saying "Note that you will be the first one to marry in our group" and now being the last one to marry in any group or circle of friends I have had, I think I do need someone. I feel a companion will make me complete. My girl (whom I don't dream of or don't have any picture in my head) will help me complete myself. Needless to say I will complete her too :-), it's a handshake and not a monologue mind you dear :-).

I wish and hope the same for you, and I hope that you would find your companion soon. Till then lets raise a toast to the good life we all have had, to the good times we have bathed in. What we call the single life may need to perish some day, but till then; Rock On!!

~ My pursuit for finding grace, begins with finding her."

I woke up to this email and kept wondering what does this quote mean to me. Needless to tell you, the topic is close to my heart. Since I read the line - it has been at the back or front of my mind all the time. It comes from movies I guess, all my friends say, you find your love and you are all set. But, why does this old man in the series not say - 'Find your girl, you will find grace'? Instead he says - 'Find your girl, and then FIND grace'. An attempt to answer this question gives a priceless advice - finding the one is not enough, you must learn to find the grace in your girl/ guy.If you look at majority of the incomplete love stories - you'll see that either of the two or both stopped seeing the the elegance in it. In simple, plain, practical life every relationship encounters problems - how you work around those, how you keep the beauty of the relationship going is in fact finding grace. Often people end up in a relationship during infatuation, it takes a focused effort to convert the infatuation in love and lifelong companionship. Our previous generations did it quite successfully. But is our generation loosing that focus? Is this a reason of high number of failed relationships and divorces in our generation?Life goes on and on and at every damn point you feel a need of a companion - someone you look forward to go home to, someone to fight with, someone you know will always come back to you after every fight, someone with whom you enjoy the smallest things in life, someone with whom the usual sunrise is more golden than ever and drops of rain are falling pearls etc. etc.With me, all I hope for, is a chance to find my grace !! I do not have a set picture either - I am all up for surprises and I am determined to not loose my focus, once I get it :). Like they say, 'umeed pe duniya kayam hai'.. May our search end soon.. Amen.. :DThis collaboration as unique it may seem might look stupid to some of the folks out there. Don't worry you will find your grace!! When you do, come back and read this. It might not read as stupid after all :-)

Has your bubble burst yet?

In certain situations of life, we all tend to create bubbles around ourselves.. bubbles that are an attempt of insulation from the reality. This bubble is very cozy, comfortable, soothing and peaceful. But the problem is every such bubble breaks some day and when it does, all you can count is how much time were you lost from reality... how much have you deviated from your path to liberation and how hard you need to work to get back on the track ?

There are different types of bubbles: the let-me-party bubble, the friends-are-life bubble, the workaholic's bubble, the f***-the-world bubble and the philosopher's bubble.

1) The let-me-party bubble - this is the most common and probably the most destructive of them all. In your 20s, you find this all around you. The people in this bubble are often seen partying, drinking, clubbing, smoking, etc. Now you would say whats wrong with this.. well a peculiar quality is that a person in the let-me-party bubble will be seen in every party of the town. For them the time, the day, the company and the occasion do not matter. All they want to do is get drunk and dance to the loud music.. probably to shut the voice of reality.. sigh !! A person in this bubble should be lucky to come out without health and psychological issues.

2) The f***-the-world bubble - this is arguably the second most common bubble and it pretty much goes hand-in-hand with the first one. If you have seen someone swearing at the world for every wrong thing happening in their lives, you have seen type 2 (and I am sure everyone has). There's a simple concept of spirituality that these guys must learn - the sooner you come to peace with the reality, the faster you'll learn to live and love the world you were placed in.

3) The workaholic's bubble- this is another quite common bubble. You see workaholics all around you. Not every workaholic is workaholic from birth... they become so if they feel that there's nothing else in the world that's more important than work. These guys often loose on valuable time in life, get health issues and become socially inept.

4) The friends-are-life bubble - I know I am going to be criticized a lot for saying that friends-are-life is a bubble and it will burst, but in my opinion and experience it is a fact !! If you are too dependent on your friends to live your life, you are a potential resident of this bubble. Friends come and go - some leave a deep influence, some are fondly remembered and some leave back a scar. What one needs to remember is there is a life beyond friends !!

5) The philosopher's bubble - When need comes, some people choose a more "intellectual" way to run from reality. They create their own ideology. This does not hold the risk of bubble formation if the ideologies have been tried and tested by many people caught in similar situation. This bubble is also shortest, if the person has broader outlook towards life and accepts different perspectives openly.

Everyone goes through the bubble phase/s and anyone who says they have not is either lying or has not had the bubble burst yet !! Once out of the bubble, the life should be/ would be a balance of parties, friends, work, philosophy and more compassionate outlook towards the world.

When I told about my bubble to a dear friend he said, 'but aren't you supposed to be super matured by 20s to fall into any bubble?' Well I feel there's no age limit to falling in or out of a bubble. Its the most important lesson of life - some get it earlier, some get it later... what's important is to learn the lesson right !!